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Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
