So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
