Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
