What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize