Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
