God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
