I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
