theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this boner is exhausting
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
