So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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