I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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