The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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