How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
