my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My life is pants optional.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
