Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
