Your face is a jimmy john
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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