just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
