I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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