Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
