Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
love makes seman taste better
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
