It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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