One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
