go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
