I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I wear drunk well.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
