lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize