oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The ass gains better be worth it
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