If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its not stalking. its research.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
