Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
