I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
