real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
