Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
