He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
