last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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