i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
