cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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