well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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