but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This house was built for laser tag.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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