Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize