You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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