I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize