Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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