and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
