like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
