What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
