You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
