Moan for me like Helen Keller
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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