he shaved USA in his pubs
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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