I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize