This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
