my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
