i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
