either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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