I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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