I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
