No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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