Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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