Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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