He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
