Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
