My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
