I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I need help removing her.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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