RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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