why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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