We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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