My friends, they love my intelligence
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
