STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
