I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
