You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
