Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
