Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
