what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
