I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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