I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What a dumb baby whore.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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