You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
should my penis look like a turkey
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize