upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
