is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My dick has a subreddit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
