my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
